All I Wanna Do (bang bang bang bang)

...and take your money. (M.I.A.)

This post has been a long time coming, as I have had trouble figuring out quite what to say. It goes back to that first weekend out, the night I got pickpocketed by Dmitri, and has done a lot to bring the group towards our goal of notoriety and fame in the Bard-Smolny Student Handbook.

Earlier in the night (1 am?), we went to SPB, a student bar, which we picked for its renowned onion rings and super cheap beer. Coincidentally, SPB is also the only bar I’ve seen thus far with pitchers. We were sitting at a table, enjoying our greasy treats, when shouting distracted us from our beer and fries. Two men, older than the rest of the clientele, had started throwing punches in the next room; one called the other a fascist and jumped on top of him, WWF-style.

The bouncers rushed over to get a front row seat, clearing out only when the two men barreled through the doorway…straight for our table. I was sitting at the end of the table with a guy in the group. Though we had lost interest in the fight and were engrossed in a discussion as to the merits of McDonalds vs. SPB fries, alarm bells went off as we realized that our pitchers were in danger. I courageously covered the table, while Seth took a blow for the team (literally: a stray punch landed in the back of his head).

Mercifully, the guys headed out to the entryway and out of our sight. After a moment of silence, a shot rang out. We looked around at each other, not quite believing it but saw that the other patrons had all ducked under their tables, so we quickly filed suit. Moments later, another shot rang out and we heard the glass door crash.

While no one was hurt, this, like the later pickpocketing incident, convinced us to give up the жетон судбы.