I lost my v-card, can I have yours?

In stereotypical communist fashion, our semester is 17 weeks long and doesn't include a spring break. So we decided to skip class for a week and take one anyway. The destination: Istanbul.

Flying out of Helsinki rather than St. P was much cheaper, and all we had to do was take an overnight bus from a hotel on Nevsky to the train station in Helsinki. I had been worried that it would be difficult to find the bus but had forgotten that in Russia, if anyone wants to sell something (tickets, food, used clothing), they will find out. Immediately upon leaving the metro station, we were mobbed by seven sellers, all thrusting their Helsinki signs in our face. So Obstacle 1: find the bus, was complete. This gave me some time to wander around, during which I went into a copy center to use the bathroom, and stumbled upon what I could only consider a good omen:








a V-card holder! I know just the person to give this to.