Alexander probably would have destroyed Caesar

So the below analogy doesn't really apply anyway.

Update on the water situation: My roommate and I spent a lovely afternoon at Peter and Paul fortress lying on the beach and observing man thongs. As always seems to be the case when we go to Peter and Paul, we got caught in a rainstorm on our way back but decided to walk home, meaning that we were soaked, muddy, and sandy by the time we finally got back to the dorm. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue: that's what showers are for. On this fateful day, however, we learned that Russians aren't habitually late, they really just do whatever they can to screw with your plans.

Even the sailors ran for cover! They then got mad at me for repeatedly taking their picture, so we had to make a fast getaway and run down a side street.

Remember that post about hot water being turned off from June 15 to July 1? For no discernible reason, it was turned off two days in advance. I of course didn't realize this until I had already gone for an extra hard run, meaning that not showering was not an option.

"Whatever," I thought. "I'm tough. I've swum in the Norwich pool for chrissake! I'll just shower really quickly."

The icy cold water had barely reached my sunburnt back when I shrieked in pain and jumped out of reach of the faucet. After several more unsuccessful attempts, I gave up and took a sponge bath (pictures to come when I convince my roommate that photographing one of my sponge baths really is a good idea and not at all weird). On the bright side, I'll be well-prepared for sponge baths in my future retirement community.