It's a Cruel, Cruel Summer....

Time to clear up another popular misconception: Unlike witches, Russians do not melt in direct sunlight. In fact, they love going to the beach (or tanning salon) and soaking up the cancerous rays. While some prefer to trek to Peter and Paul Fortress to snooze while standing upright against the Fortress's mighty stone walls, others stick close to home and stretch out in the middle of the industrial wasteland that I call "my neighborhood." However, patrons of Peter and Paul and the Gulf of Finland alike sport man thongs and other attire equally unsuitable for any occasion whatsoever.

Peter and Paul:

Gulf of Finland:

...and here you thought I was just making this up.